Hello my friends,
I don’t know how many times I’ve started writing. I’ve started so many posts, pages, blogs, series, and every time I give up. For me, like many of you fellow bloggers, writing is a game changer. It’s like air we need to breathe. Having spent so much of my life writing, aspiring to create things that are worthwhile, worthy, I’ve decided to give up. I need to give up on the idea that this is for anyone but me.
This is my selfish act. Writing. I want to really drill that into my brain because, realistically, over the next few months, when Baby arrives, it could be the only thing I have that’s just for me. Writing provides me with an outlet, a form of personal therapy. I can write whatever it is that I need to let out, and once I do, my energy shifts and I feel so much lighter. I want to give up on giving up on myself in that regard. I’m fed up of ‘not bothering’ with writing because it’s not always easy. I’m fed up of being worried about keeping a blog fresh, accessible, and interesting when in fact I need to remember that I’m doing this just for me. My writing won’t be like others’. My writing, my blog, my feelings and my experiences will be 100% unique to me at any given moment in time.
Do you ever look at your blog and wonder if you should change it up completely? I do. I love the look of my blog right now – but it’s totally different to other ones that I’ve had in the past. I’m a traditional person when it comes to layout – one column, one set of widgets down the right had side, full posts being posted at all times. Whereas, this time around, I’ve gone for columns, no widgets, no excerpts – it sometimes makes me feel a bit unsure of what way I’ve designed this one. The questions on my mind today are “Do I mess around with this and find something different? Or do I leave it as it is and embrace the neat lines of this layout?” Not that anyone out there probably actually cares about this – but if I’m going to get back into the swing of things, and let down my barriers, I want to feel proud of my little homepage! I don’t want this to feel impersonal. I hope I can figure out what I should do. (And yes, I understand that if this is my biggest worry of the day then I’m really doing well for myself! I’ll embrace that fact with open arms!!)